


Emily Goes to School

by idk_books



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Campus, Coffee, College, F/F, Fairy Lights, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Lecture, Party, Pizza, Unpacking, Volcanoes, lake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25228084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idk_books/pseuds/idk_books
Summary: Emily Dickinson is finally free from her parents' clutches and she's ready to embrace all the opportunities college brings. Or she's just going to stay in her dorm room staring at her roommate and writing poetry.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 41
Kudos: 191





	1. Forever is Composed of Nows

The dorm room was sparse at best, institutional at worst; bare bed-frames, chip-board furniture and breeze block walls. Emily’s father glanced round disapprovingly as he set the first of many boxes of books on the bed, “I can’t say it’s what I hoped for you but I suppose it is what I expected from a college of this standing,” he said disapprovingly.

Emily, in contrast, smiled broadly when she saw the room. Not for the aesthetic but for the freedom it represented. It wasn’t quite the fortress of solitude she was hoping for: the bed her father had left the books on was duplicated on the other side of the room. There were also twins of the battered desk and dilapidated closet. Despite the imminence of the arrival of her new roommate, she still felt gleeful at the independence this new setting represented. She stroked her desk almost reverentially as she imagined all of the students that had sat there before and all of the ideas they must have had there. This moment of introspection was interrupted by the arrival of her mother and sister. Their presence was not conducive to moments of reflection so she busied herself with ‘unpacking’ the books and setting them haphazardly on the bed-side cabinet.

“Oh, Emily. Can you organise those? Why does everything have to be so chaotic with you?” her mother said, with a pained expression on her face.

“Because I’m finally free of your restrictions. Free to be as chaotic as I like,” Emily retorted playfully.

Her mother rolled her eyes and busied herself with bedsheets and cleaning supplies. Her sister stayed in the doorway, clinging to the frame as if afraid that the vacuum of Emily’s chaos would suck her in, “Do you think that if I went to college, I’d find a boyfriend?” she asked, peering hesitantly inside.

“Ugh, Lavinia. There is so much more to college than getting a boyfriend,” Emily said, rolling her eyes, “There is so much more to life than getting a boyfriend,”she added from the bed she was sprawled across as her mother tried to make it around her.

“Lavinia, we’ve talked about this,” her mother said, “you can’t go to college at the moment, I need you at home.”

“And you made the mistake of being far more useful than me,” Emily said with unrestrained glee.

Their father then burst triumphantly back into the room, carrying far too many boxes and knocking Lavinia inside the room at last. “One more trip should do it. Austin’s bringing the big case up in the elevator,” he announced.

“Austin’s here!” Emily groaned and flopped melodramatically back onto the bed.

“Of course he is,” her father said, “he’s your brother. It’s important he’s here on your big day. Now, Emily, are you going to do anything useful or are you simply going to let your mother and sister do everything for you as always?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“It was intended to be rhetorical but I realise that either way it won’t have the required effect.”

“Probably not,” Emily said and turned to face the wall as her brother made his entrance, towing an enormous suitcase behind him.

“There was a pretty big line for the elevator so I thought I’d take the stairs,” he said, “But then I realised just how heavy this thing is so I went back to the elevator. There are a lot of hot girls here. Wish I’d have gone to this school.”

“Like you’d have got in,” Emily scoffed, still facing the wall.

“Emily!” her mom scolded, “And Austin, Emily’s obviously not going to be interested in the hot girls.”

“How little you know,” Emily murmured to the wall.

“What was that?” her mom asked.

“Nothing.”

“Anyway,” Austin said, “Where do you want this thing?” he pointed at the case.

“I don’t care, anywhere. There, maybe?” Emily said, pointing to the centre of the room.

“Emily! I don’t think your roommate is going to appreciate you leaving your sh- crap everywhere,” Lavinia corrected.

“You could unpack it and hang your clothes in the closet,” her mother suggested.

“Why would I wanna do that?” Emily said, rolling onto her back.

“Listen, Emily. You’re not going to last very long at college if you don’t start doing things for yourself,” her father said, “Austin and I are going to find some coffee and when we come back, I expect you to have put all of your clothes away.”

“Can I come with you, dad?” Lavinia asked, standing up from the corner she’d found herself sitting in.

“Erm, no. You need to stay here and help your mother,” he said not looking at her before sweeping out of the room with Austin following sheepishly behind him.

Emily rolled dramatically off the bed, landing face down on the carpet. Still face down on the carpet, she started unzipping the case and throwing clothes out. Lavinia, with a resigned expression, started picking up the discarded items, hanging them in the closet and folding them into drawers.

“Lavinia, stop that!” her mom exclaimed, “Mr Dickinson said Emily should do that. And besides, I need your help to put these fairy lights up.”

“Mom! Fairy lights? Seriously?” Emily asked, incredulously.

“I read a Buzzfeed article,” her mom said seriously, “It said they were a dorm room essential. You don’t want to be the only one without fairylights.”

“I don’t know how I could handle the shame,” Emily dead-panned.

“Oh. Emily. Get up off the floor,” her mom chastised, “Your roommate could arrive any moment. Is this really teh first impression you want to make?”

“Honestly, mother. I could not care less,” Emily said, not moving from her position on the floor.

“Emily. Your roommate has the potential to be your best friend or you worst enemy. You’re going to be living with them for a year. It’s important you set the right tone.”

“Good job we’ve got the fairy lights,” Emily fired back.

“Emily. Will you take this seriously?” her mom said, her voice rising dramatically in pitch.

“I am,” Emily said, with a straight face, “I’ve always wanted a mortal enemy. What do I need to do to make sure she hates me?”

Lavinia slammed the door of the closet shut, “Emily. Some of us would really love to go to college but some of us have to stay at home and watch our intensely frustrating sister go off and have all the fun.”

Emily was visibly shocked at this outburst, the mischievous grin faded from her face, and she got to her feet with the intention of comforting or reassuring her sister. She hadn’t quite decided which.

“Well, it looks much better in here,” their father said, having suddenly appeared in the doorway, “I hope that Emily is responsible for at least some of this.”

Lavinia and her mother nodded conspiratorially, deciding it was just easier to lie. They sat side by side on the newly-made bed as Austin distributed the coffee. Emily was sat up on the floor leaning against the closed door of the closet. The men stayed in the doorway, sipping their coffee. One an ageing mirror image of the other.

“Once we’ve drunk this, we ought to hit the road, Emily. It’s a long drive back to Amherst and we don’t want to get stuck in traffic.”

“Don’t you want to stay and meet my new roommate?” Emily asked, blinking in mock sincerity up at her father.

“I think we’d all like to avoid that particular car crash,” Austin said with a smirk.

“Thank you, Austin,” Mr Dickinson said sternly, “Mrs Dickinson, are you nearly ready to go?”

“Yes, this coffee is virtually undrinkable,” she said through pursed laugh, “so I’m going to pour it down the sink and I’ll be ready.”

“And you, err, Lavinia?” her father added.

“You forgot to give me coffee so, I’m ready,” she replied sullenly.

“Ok. Emily. Good bye, then.”

“Good bye, dad,” Emily said, not moving from her position on the floor.

“Oh, Emily. Get up off the floor, say good bye properly,” her mother instructed.

“Ugh,” Emily rolled her eyes and slowly got to her feet, making slow and deliberate movements. She curtseyed elaborately, “Good bye, dear family. Thank you for all of your assistance and I wish you a pleasant return journey.”

“Oh, Emily,” her mother said and pulled her into a hug. Emily’s arms stayed limp beside her. Lavinia followed suit and her father and brother waved from the doorway hardly making eye contact before heading off out of the room. Lavinia and her mother shuffled after them, also waving awkwardly.

Emily flopped back onto the bed, entirely horizontal. She stared at the ceiling, enjoying the patterns the damp patches made there. These musings quickly led to her hurriedly reaching for a scrap of paper and a pencil. She was sprawled on her front, frantically scribbling away when she was interrupted by a tentative cough from the doorway. She flipped onto her back, defensively clutching the paper to her.

A small, petite figure stood there peering at her through enormous brown eyes. Her chestnut hair was scraped back in a neat pony tail and a small suitcase was set at her feet, “Hi,” she said eventually, “I’m Sue. I’m your roommate.”

“Oh,” Emily once again rolled off the bed, this time landing on her feet. “I’m Emily. Nice to meet you,” and she awkwardly stuck her hand out for Sue to shake.


	2. To Dwell in Possibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's orientation week and Sue and Emily have vastly different approaches to settling into college life but they realise that they both want to make the best of their situation as room-mates.

Sue apparently didn’t have anything to say and Emily was too busy revelling in her new found independence to make the effort. Of course, for Emily independence meant spending most of her time lounging in bed or sat at her desk writing frantically. Sue was rarely in the room anyway. It wasn’t clear what schedule she was following or where she’d found it but it seemed to be pretty intense. They’d smile greetings at each other whenever Sue returned or occasionally make polite enquiries about the turning off of lights but that seemed to be the extent of their social niceties. Surprisingly, Emily was the one who broke first. Four days into orientation week was all it took for curiosity to get the better of her so on a rare occasion where Sue was in the room, sat at her desk poring over a text book, she kick started the ‘getting-to-know-each-other process’ that was so encouraged by all the pamphlets and her Mom’s Buzzfeed article, “So. Sue,” she began, “where are you from?”

Sue answered with a single word: the name of an obscure town in Massachusetts.

“No way!” Emily exclaimed, “That’s just down the road from Amherst, where I’m from.”

“It’s very nice there,” Sue said reticently and she turned the page of her text book, trying to end the conversation.

“It is lovely,” Emily continued, deliberately disregarding the cues, “or at least that’s what people tell me. It is also incredibly boring.”

“So’s my town,” Sue replied, still not really looking up.

“So, why did you decide to come to college here?”

“They had a scholarship for students who’ve experienced a bereavement.”

“Oh,” Emily said, sitting up and hoping Sue would turn around so she could show off her sympathetic face.

“When my parents died, I didn’t think I’d be able to go to college but my teacher told me about the scholarship so… here I am,” Sue said, admitting defeat by closing the text book and turning round at last.

“Both your parents died? How?” Emily’s eyes were wide open with a combination of shock and horror.

“It was a car accident. I don’t really like to talk about it so,” and Sue tailed off and turned back to her book, purposefully concluding the conversation.

Emily lay back on her bed feeling guilty for having so pressed so much. It was an unusual feeling. She wasn’t used to caring about what people thought. She was becoming even more sure that her room-mate was closer to being her enemy rather than her best friend.

“Sorry Emily,” Sue spoke as Emily was on the verge of losing herself completely in self pity. She’d scooted her chair over to Emily’s bedside, “I didn’t mean to be rude. I just don’t really know how to talk about it so I tend to just shut the conversation down.”

“That’s ok,” Emily said, propping herself back up on her elbows. I’m sorry for being so inquisitive.”

“It’s ok,” Sue smiled, “I guess you just wanted us to get to know each other.”

“Exactly! We’re going to be living together for a while,” Emily enthused, “You’re either going to end up my best friend or my mortal enemy.”

“What?” Sue asked, pushing her chair back slightly from the edge of Emily’s bed.

“Something my sister said.”

“Did she go to college?” Sue asked.

“No, she’s far too domesticated to be educated,” Emily said, her voice completely without sarcasm.

“Huh?” Sue had retreated so much that she was practically sat back at her desk.

“My mom’s unfashionably fixated on gender roles and expectations,” Emily explained, “Vinnie made the mistake of demonstrating many feminine virtues. I, thankfully, did not.”

“You’re not one for conforming, then?” Sue said, her voice weighted with an irony that Emily didn’t hear.

“Not exactly. What about you?” Emily asked, reluctantly turning the attention away from her, “How was High School?”

“Aside from my parents dying,” Sue said flatly, “it was pretty boring. You?”

“I was home-schooled.”

“That explains a lot,” Sue said, smiling to herself.

“What does that mean?” Emily asked suspiciously.

“Oh, you know, limited social skills, asking inappropriate questions, being horizontal a lot,” Sue said grinning mischievously.

“I’m excellent at social skills,” Emily asserted, “when I choose to be.”

“I look forward to the day you choose to use them. I have no doubt you could be very charming,” Sue teased.

“I can be very charming,” and she caught Sue’s eye which Sue held with a coy smile idling across her lips until Emily felt her cheeks warming uncomfortably and she was forced to break the gaze.

“So was it your mom who taught you?” Sue asked after a moment.

“She tried to teach me to cook but after the fiftieth time of me ‘accidentally’ cracking eggs on the floor, she delegated all educational duties to my father. He’s in local politics so you can imagine what that was like,” as she spoke, she started reaching for scraps of paper and started writing. It was almost as if she wasn’t consciously aware of her actions but she was so inspired by their seemingly bland conversation that she had to write. She was evidently oblivious to Sue’s raised eyebrow as Emily’s attention moved rapidly from her face to the paper before her.

“Shall I leave you alone?” Sue asked at last when she realised her stare was having no effect.

“What?” Emily started at Sue’s voice and clasped the paper to her, “No, sorry, I can’t really help myself,” she attempted to explain.

“So Politics,” Sue interrupted, “is that what you think you’ll major in?”

“God no!” she exclaimed.

“So what is it?” Sue pressed.

“English literature with a minor in creative writing.”

“So that’s why you’re always writing.”

“You’ve noticed?”

“Of course,” Sue frowned, “How could I not? So what kind of stuff do you like to write?”

“Poems,” Emily said with grand finality.

Sue struggled to stifle her laugh.

“What?” Emily asked defensively.

“I don’t know. Sorry. It’s just very 1860s”

“Exactly. Life was much easier back then,” she said wistfully.

“If you were rich…”

“I guess…” Emily conceded, “Anyway. How about you? What do you think your major will be?”

“It’d be great if I felt that I could choose but it’s gonna have to business or something like that. I need to do something that will get me a job.”

“Do you know anything about business?”

“No. But I think this might be a good place to find out.”

“But if you could choose?” Emily prompted.

“Probably English, like you. I wish I had the time and motivation to write like you do but…” Emily opened her mouth to offer advice but Sue continued, speaking hurriedly over her, as if trying to erase what she’d just said, “Anyway, it was nice to chat, Emily. We try and do it again but I need to get going. The cafeteria stops serving soon and I want to make the most of my meal plan.”

And before Emily had chance to ask if she could come too, Sue was gone. Instead she contented herself with a microwave burrito and an idle scroll through netflix before settling on an old episode of _One Day at a Time._ She was still lying on her bed, six episodes in, when Sue got back, “have you not moved?” she asked as she came through the door.

“Nope. College beds are surprisingly comfortable. Austin lied to me.”

“Austin?” Sue asked, still standing in the doorway looking down at Emily.

“My brother,” Emily explained, “He’d love you. You’re exactly his type.

“And what type is that?” Sue paused on her journey back to her bed.

“Oh, you know, small, thin, conventionally attractive.”

“So your typical cookie-cutter girl?”

“Pretty much.”

“And that’s me?”

“Far from it but Austin’s not one for depth perception.”

“So you’re saying I’m deep?”

“Vastly.”

“Well, I doubt Austin will be my type.”

“You haven’t even seen a picture.”

“I don’t need to,” and Sue turned on her desk lamp, plugged in her headphones and returned to her text book. Emily flopped back on her bed and instead of reaching for scraps of paper, she stared at the ceiling, replaying the conversation she’d just had. She paid particular attention to the last comment and what it might mean and what that meant for the way Emily worried she may feel.

***

Sue continued to be notable by her absence and Emily would frequently forget she had a room-mate, even after their conversation. She had a peripheral understanding that things were happening beyond the walls of her dorm room but regardless of the countless activities taking place across campus, Emily hadn’t gone to college to participate. She was there simply because it offered her an out from a life of oppressive privilege with her family in semi-rural suburbia. College guaranteed her at least four years away and if she was lucky, she’d get to wear a fancy hat and gown at the end. In contrast, Sue was taking her new life extremely seriously. Her desk was slowly getting buried under pamphlets and free pens from all the events she’d been to as Emily barely remembered to register for her classes. In fact, it was only Sue’s poring over the course catalogue that reminded her it was something she needed to do at all.

Lavinia would call her at regular intervals, keen to live vicariously through Emily’s experiences. She ended up being very disappointed; Emily hadn’t satisfied the apparent requirement to find either her best friend or worst enemy in her room-mate. Worst of all, her not leaving her room meant she was never going to find a boyfriend which was, if Lavinia was to be believed, a fate worse than death. Emily’s only response to these segments of the conversations was to roll her eyes and hang up very quickly in the hope that one day Vinnie would get the message.

Her father, on the other hand, would send her brief business-like emails linking her to ‘interesting’ articles on the latest political developments, whatever they may be. These were accompanied by lengthy postscripts from her mother reminding her to register with the campus doctor, to wear shower shoes and the importance of safe sex with the word abstinence underlined and in bold. Her mom also echoed Vinnie’s urgent enquiries as to her relationship status. These she left unanswered. Austin - predictably - made no attempt to contact her at all.

By the end of orientation week, Emily was still lying on her bed, seemingly still wearing the clothes she’d arrived at college in. She was surrounded by numerous scraps of paper covered in her tiny handwriting. Many of these had found their way on to the floor and Emily was apparently impermeable to Sue’s pointed looks and polite enquiries about why their room was starting to look like a recycling bank.

Sue, following her newly established routine, had left early that morning and only reappeared in the evening to get to go out yet again. Emily watched with curious fascination as she carefully applied her make-up and used straighteners to put gentle curls in her hair. She turned away with reluctant politeness when Sue started rummaging through her closet looking for an outfit to change into. When she was ready, she sat back in her bed, scrolling through her phone. She looked up to see Emily still staring at her, “Are you ok?” she asked, quizzically returning Emily’s gaze.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Emily smiled.

“Look, do you want to come with me tonight? It might do you some good to actually leave this room.”

“That depends,” Emily replied, “where are you going?”

“To a frat party.”

“Ugh,” Emily rolled her eyes, a reflex response to anything she disapproved of.

“Come on, it might be fun,” Sue insisted.

“Fine,” Emily said, standing up, “let’s go.”

“Oh, erm, are you not going to get changed?”

“Is this not ok?” Emily said, looking down at her faded jeans and crumb-spotted sweater.

“Perhaps for every day college life,” Sue said choosing her words carefully, “but it might be nice to… er… make things a bit dressier,” and she pulled her chair and make-up bag over to Emily’s side of the room, kicking the scraps of paper to one side as she went.

“What are you doing?” Emily asked nervously.

“Making you look beautiful,” she said, “Even more beautiful,” she corrected as she set to work on Emily’s face, “so what are you going to wear?”

It took Emily a moment to realise she’d been asked a question, she was transfixed into an almost soporific state by Sue’s gentle movements across her face, “Oh, err, I think I’ve got some jeans somewhere that don’t have holes in.”

“You don’t have a dress?”

“Maybe… if my mom managed to sneak one in.”

“Let me have a look. I’ll leave you to do your hair.”

“I need to do my hair?” Emily mumbled to herself picking at the bird’s nest on her head as Sue made a beeline for her closet.

“Nope. No dress in here. But these are nice,” and she tossed Emily some black jeans and a more fitted t-shirt. “I’m just going to head to the bathroom and then we should be ready to go,” and she left Emily to get changed.

When she returned, she pulled a bottle of vodka from her closet, took a couple of swigs then passed it to Emily, “You’re probably gonna want to be slightly buzzed before we get there.”

Emily accepted it gratefully and winced as the clear liquid hit the back of her throat, “Alright,” she announced, “let’s do this.” And with that, they left.


	3. Wild Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sue takes a reluctant Emily to a frat party where they bump into the last person Emily was hoping to see.

They could hear the party before they got there: loud non-descript music and the voices of many, many people seemed to be pumping across the entire campus. When they rounded the corner, Emily was slightly stunned by the amount of people pouring out of the house so much so that she found herself overcome with a desire to simply turn around and go back to the safety of the dorm room. The frat house was covered with flags and toilet paper and there were already bodies and empty kegs strewn across the lawn. Sue grabbed her hand, sensing her fear, to stop her from slowing to a complete standstill, “Come on, it’ll be fun,” she whispered, leading her towards the party.

Emily had never been to a party. This was something she’d been led to believe that she should be ashamed of but she secretly congratulated herself on her wisdom. Parties were messy, untidy affairs and weren’t condusive to writing good poetry. She felt that the only inspiration she’d be getting from the party tonight would be a head ache either from the noise or the vodka she’d realised she needed more of.

It only got worse as they entered the house and Emily was grateful to Sue for not letting go of her hand. She wove them through the crowds until she found the kitchen and handed Emily a red cup filled with a mystery concoction. It was here that at last she let go of Emily’s hand leaving her feeling slightly lost. “Come on,” Sue whispered again, “I’ll introduce you to some people,” and she headed back into the throngs leaving Emily no choice but to follow. Once they were in the living room, which had been reappropriated as a dance floor, Sue started to dance: her arms in the air, moving constantly, pausing only to sip from her red cup. Everyone around her was doing the same and Emily soon realised that it was expected so she joined in so she raised her arms in the air and started to dance. She soon realised that the more sips she took, the easier this was. Just as the flutters of panic would begin to resurface, Sue would inevitably grab her hand, swinging it and pulling her into her dancing.

She didn’t recognise anyone else at the party but then she hadn’t expected to. Finding people to recognise from the campus would have involved her needing to have left the dorm room and she doubted she’d see anyone from home. There was something strangely comforting - despite the noise and the heat and the smell and the surges of anxiety - about being surrounded by strangers. The anonymity gave her the sense of the night being irrelevant, that anything could happen and by morning, it would no longer matter. This sense of freedom was shattered with the abruptness of a sledgehammer hitting a dry wall when she noticed the crowds parting much like the Red Sea for Moses which heralded the arrival of Austin. Her jaw dropped open in shock and a small amount of the mystery punch dribbled down her chin.

“Emily?” Austin was clearly as shocked as she was, “what are you doing here?”

“I think the question is, what are you doing here?” she slurred back.

“It’s a party,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which - in a way - it was.

“I know that. But it’s a party at my college,” she said, stepping defiantly towards him.

“It’s now also my college,” he replied, smiling smugly down at her.

“What? How?” Emily exclaimed, stepping back, unaware of the crowd that was now beginning to build around them.

“I liked the look of the place when we moved you in so Dad got me in on an MA programme,” he grinned back, taking great delight in taunting her.

“But you’re… you’re….” she stammered.

“Dumb?” he said, folding his arms smugly, “Yes. But Dad’s rich so the administration decided to overlook my transcript.”

Emily was on the verge of punching Austin or emptying her drink over his stupid head but she still, on some level, wanted to make friends and she didn’t want to look like a jerk in front of Sue so she stood there clenching and unclenching her fists as Austin swaggered off into the crowd. Sue had snuck off into the bathroom and had managed to miss the whole exchange. She came up behind Emily and linked her arm through her elbow, “Who’s that guy?” she asked, resting her head on Emily’s shoulder and spotting Austin across the room.

“That’s Austin,” she replied through gritted teeth and shooting death stares across at him, “my brother.”

“Your… your brother,” Sue spluttered, “you didn’t say that he went here too.”

“That’s because I didn’t know,” Emily said.

“I kinda wish you had showed me his picture,” Sue said, not taking her eyes off him, “still think I’d be his type?”

“Yeah. You and every other girl here. Apart from me,” Emily said, staring at Sue who was still fixated on Austin. Her elfin features were starkly contrasted with Austin’s leering grin as he chugged beer and his new friends cheered. Emily wondered what it must be like to have a woman with such delicate features stare transfixed at her.

“Hey,” Sue said, taking her head off Emily’s shoulder at last, “do you think you could introduce us?”

“I though you said he wasn’t your type,” Emily said, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice.

“I’m willing to make an exception,” Sue replied dreamily, her eyes glazed with alcohol.

“Ok. But I’m gonna get another drink first,” Emily said hurriedly as she stumbled towards the kitchen.

It wasn’t so much an introduction that Emily provided, more a couple of wordless gestures as Austin grinned like a shark meeting its prey and stretched his arm around Sue. As they got to know one another, Emily tried to lose herself in the dancing. She followed the movements of the people around her and even found herself getting sucked into various dance vortexes with pockets of people around her.

The whole party seemed to come to a complete standstill and the music reduced to an irritating hum as she watched Austin lean down towards Sue and Sue stretch up to meet him. It wasn’t just that it was her brother, it was that she was her Sue. She wasn’t sure at what point she’d decided that Sue was hers, whether it was the moment she first looked at her through the door frame of their shared room or when she held her hand to reassure her as they entered the party but she now felt that they were intrinsically connected and Austin had violated that. And what was worse, Sue had let him.

They walked home together, gently zig-zagging across the paths and knocking into each other as they went. Seeing Sue with Austin had sobered Emily up but the upset and confusion she now felt led to her affording minimal concentration on walking. Sue thankfully didn’t say anything but would periodically grab Emily’s arm as she wobbled just a little bit too much.

When they got back to their room, Emily watched as Sue fumbled for her key, replaying and rewinding the moment where Sue’s face met her brother’s. A face so exquisite in its innocence was, less than two hours ago, being slobbered over. That waist, those arms had been pawed at by inexpert manly hands. When they finally entered the room, instead of heading to her side as Emily expected, Sue sat on Emily’s bed, her back against the wall and patting the side next to her enthusiastically, “Come and sit with me. I want to know all about Austin.”

Emily sat down with some reluctance, ensuring that there was a sizeable gap between them. Sue looked at the gap before shuffling clumsily towards her, “What do you want to know?” Emily asked unenthusiastically.

“I don’t know. Likes, dislikes. That sort of thing.”

“Well. Austin likes himself. He dislikes people who call him out on his bullshit and people who are more intelligent than him which, let’s face it, is most people.”

“Oh,” Sue said quietly.

“What I’m trying to say is, you can do better,” Emily said, staring at her lap.

“So you’re not going to give me his number?” Sue asked, her voice tinged with disappointment.

“I think you need to ask why he didn’t give it to you,” Emily replied, looking across at Sue.

“Come on, Em. Don’t be like that. He’s your brother. He can’t be that bad,” Sue said, elbowing her gently.

“He isn’t that bad,” Emily began, “If you’re blonde and tall and confident. But not if you’re small and brunette and thoughtful and, and perfect,” she said, her voice getting quieter with each adjective.

“Emily, is everything ok?” Sue whispered.

“Yes.”

“Did you not enjoy the party? I’m sorry I persuaded you to go,” Sue said, patting her knee.

“I did enjoy it. Thank you for inviting me. It’s just…” she said carefully.

“Just what?” Sue prompted.

“I didn’t expect to see you making out with my brother. It was shock enough seeing him there. Knowing that he’d muscled himself into my chance at freedom,” she said, feeling suddenly proud of her honesty.

“Why does him being here mean that you can’t be free?”

“Because he’s the boy,” Emily said, flopping dramatically onto her side, “Because he’s older. It doesn’t matter what I do here now. It will now be all about Austin,” she said, speaking into her pillow.

“You don’t know that,” Sue said, stroking her ankle sympathetically.

“You don’t know my family,” Emily moaned.

“Awww, come here,” and Sue pulled her up into an awkward side-on hug, “if it makes you feel better, I don’t have to see Austin again. He wasn’t that good at kissing. And besides, this campus is pretty huge. It’s unlikely you’ll see that much of him anyway.”

“I always thought parties sucked. It’s nice to have been proved right,” Emily mumbled, succumbing to the hug.


	4. Pardon my sanity in a world insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after the night before and Sue decides to give Emily a tour of campus.

Sue found herself being rudely awakened by the sound of the lacrosse team running noisily past the window. She squinted and considered trying to reclaim the sleep that had been stolen for her but then flashes of memories came to her and she realised she wasn’t in bed alone.

“You know, I had the weirdest dream where I made out with your brother and you told me I was perfect,” she murmured in Emily’s ear, her voice still slightly slurred.

“Well that sounds horrible,” Emily said emphatically - she’d evidently been woken up too - and turned to face her.

“Which part?” Sue said, smiling coyly at her.

“For me,” Emily said, raising an eyebrow, “both.”

“Oh, so you don’t think I’m perfect?” Sue said teasingly.

“No, I just wouldn’t want you to know what I think so early on in our relationship,” Emily said trying hard not to seem flustered.

It was the morning after the night before and they were both lying in Emily’s bed, still in their clothes from the party. Emily was still trying to process Sue’s presence next to her; her voice felt angry and raspy and her head still seemed to be enduring the music from the party. Sue, in contrast, had acclimatised to the college hangover and seemed more than happy to have woken up on the wrong side of the room.

“I mean, we did just spend the night together…” Sue said, raising an eyebrow suggestively at Emily.

“Pfft…” Emily said, kicking her legs out of bed. Looking down, she was relieved - and slightly disappointed - to find that her clothes remained in tact all the way down to her socks. Her attempt at getting out of bed was stopped suddenly as her brain caught up with the movements of her body. Groaning, she fell dramatically back onto the bed, landing sprawled across Sue’s legs.

“You ok there?” Sue asked, clumsily patting her head.

“Ow,” Emily said swatting her arm away, “I think I may now know what death feels like.”

“You’ve not had a hangover before?” Sue said, looking smugly at her.

“Semi-rural Massachusetts? Home-schooling? Over bearing parents? No I have not had a hangover,” Emily said defensively.

“Those sound like the perfect ingredients for a hangover to me,” Sue said, still grinning.

“Ok. But you can you… can you just stop talking now? Your voice seems to be inside my skull,” Emily said and tried unsuccessfully to burrow her way under the comforter that Sue had pinned to the bed.

Sue just laughed, “Ok. I’m gonna get you some water then you’re going to need to get up,” and it was her turn to roll out of bed; she smoothly extricating herself from Emily’s legs and heading towards the sink. She returned quickly and helped Emily to sit up and sip the water.

“Thanks,” Emily murmured blearily. “I’m too afraid to ask but what time is it?”

“It’s 9:30.”

“9:30! That’s so early,” she moaned and pulled a pillow over her head.

“Oh no you don’t,” Sue said pulling the pillow away from Emily’s face, “the longer you stay in there, the worse you’re gonna feel.”

“So what should I do instead?” Emily said, peering through a mass of hair that had fallen in front of her face.

“Get up. Take a shower. Come for a walk,” Sue said, standing over her.

“A walk? You mean, like exercise,” Emily spluttered.

“Yep. You’ve hardly left this room since you got here so I’m guessing you know where nothing is so I thought I’d show you,” Sue said and threw a towel in her direction which landed squarely on her face, “Now get in the shower,” she insisted.

Once there, Emily had to concede that Sue had the right idea in getting her to take a shower and stopping her from languishing in bed. The water rushing over her was starting to ease the ache in her head and her limbs were beginning to feel as if the life was returning to them. She managed to wash her hair and even combed it out. When she got back to the dorm room, Sue was back on her side of the room waiting for her. She’d also managed to shower and had also changed so she stared politely at her phone as Emily hurriedly threw some clothes on.

“Where are we going first?” Emily asked as her head emerged through a faded sweater.

“I was thinking the cafeteria,” Sue said, gathering up her purse, “I’m starving and you can’t live on microwaveable burritos alone.”

“They’re actually surprisingly nutritious.”

“You’re not getting out of it that easily. Come and eat some actual food,” Sue said, her hand already on the door handle.

“Like we’re gonna find that in a college cafeteria,” Emily scoffed and started hunting under her bed for her wallet and two matching shoes.

***

After two obscenely strong coffees and a mountain of pancakes, Emily was starting to feel more human. She was even starting to tolerate the company of other people but of course she was always more than happy to tolerate the presence of Sue. They saw a number of people Sue already seemed to know who all looked as incapacitated as Emily felt. Sue explained that they’d all been at the party the night before but the only memory Emily had - still - was Austin’s face attached to Sue’s. He was thankfully absent from the cafeteria. Sue picked at her granola as Emily demolished her pancakes and filled Emily in on the things that she’d missed from the party. She glossed over her encounter with Austin though and placed a lot of emphasis on how glad she was that Emily was there. Especially on the walk home.

After they finished eating and had bussed their trays, they set out across campus which suddenly seemed much bigger than Emily remembered it being on the open day. There were more buildings than she could count and direction signs seemed to be few and far between but Sue was undeterred. She led her through the maze of pathways, pointing out key buildings and explaining the best short cuts. Emily stopped dead when she saw the library and the only was Sue got her to move again was to promise they could come back as soon as they’d finished the tour.

“Hey, how do you know where everything is?” Emily asked, breathlessly trying to keep pace with Sue once they’d started moving again.

“It’s not that hard if you go outside once or twice,” Sue retorted.

“I guess it is quite nice with the sun and the trees and everything,” Emily admitted, trying to take in her leafy surroundings.

“Exactly. Come on,” Sue said and grabbed Emily’s hand to stop her from slowing down even more.

“Where are we going?” Emily asked, reluctantly matching her pace with Sue’s.

“You’ll see when we get there,” Sue said cryptically, “I’ve saved the best until last.”

They walked - neither of them speaking - down picturesque paths bordered by trees. For a while, they were surrounded by other students but the further they walked, the fewer people they saw and all the while, Sue still held her hand.

Eventually, when they were surrounded by more trees than buildings, they burst into a surprisingly wide open space. “I don’t know if we’re technically still on campus,” Sue explained, “but I found it by accident and I kinda decided it was gonna be my spot.”

“It’s beautiful,” Emily breathed as she took in the sight before her: a perfectly still lake, or maybe it was a reservoir, surrounded by trees rendering it almost silent except for the ducks that were skating across the surface. They sun’s light was uninterrupted by clouds and it bounced perfectly off the surface giving everything a celestial glow.

“Isn’t it? I wasn’t gonna tell anyone about it,” Sue said, gripping Emily’s arm, “but I figured I could tell my new best friend.”

“I’m your best friend?” Emily said, returning the squeeze.

“Well, I’m not sure I’m ready for a mortal enemy. Come. Let’s sit for a bit.” Sue untied her jacket from her waist and laid it carefully on the grassy bank, “I think I’ve got some candy in my pocket, do you want some?”

Despite being full from their breakfast, Emily nodded enthusiastically, grateful to have something to do with her hands, “I hope I’m starting to prove I can be charming,” she said eventually.

“I don’t know. I still think there’s work to be done,” Sue teased.

Emily nodded, “Challenge accepted.”

“So, how about that poetry? Do you ever show anyone your poems or do you prefer to just use them as carpet for our room?”

“Sometimes. If the person’s really worth it,” Emily said coyly.

“Am I worth it?” Sue asked, biting her lip.

“Possibly. In fact,” Emily said rummaging in her pocket, “here’s one I wrote yesterday. Before the party,” and handed Sue a minuscule scrap of paper covered in tiny handwriting.

“Am I meant to be able to read this?” Sue asked squinting at the microscopic scrawl.

“That’s the test of how worthy a person is of reading one of my poems.”

“Then I’m determined to prove myself worthy,” Sue said and rolled onto her front to best decipher the work.

As she read, Emily extracted a receipt from her back pocket and a stumpy pencil and wrote hurriedly, as if at any moment someone might snatch it off her, creating her latest poem. This lake was the perfect setting and Sue the ideal muse.

“Well, that was quite something,” Sue said, sitting up at last.

“You liked it?” Emily said tentatively.

“The bits of it I understood.”

“You only understood bits of it?” Emily said, somewhat deflated.

“What can I say? I’m a business major?” Sue shrugged, “But you certainly have a way with words, Emily.”

“That’s good?”

“Definitely.”

“So you enjoyed it?”

“I did. You know, you should submit it for a magazine. There are lots on campus.”

“I don’t know about that…” Emily said uncertainly.

“Why not? What have you got to lose?”

“I guess…”

“I’ll do some research. Find out how it’s done.”

“Thank-you.”

“We should be getting back though. I’m kind of hungry again and I want to show you the lunch menu,” and Sue helped Emily to her feet and they headed back towards the campus.

“And don’t forget the library!” Emily reminded her.

“Of course. The library.”

***

After lunch and the library, the campus was beginning its gradual shift towards the evening and the clear blue sky was starting to show an orange tinge. Neither of them were in any hurry to head back to the dorm room, especially Emily who was finally starting to appreciate why people liked being outside, so they found themselves heading back to the seclusion of the lake. It was colder now so when Sue lay down her jacket for them to sit on, she snuggled into Emily for warmth. They sat quietly and watched the orange glow on the lake as the sun started to slip down past the tree line.

“You know I like you right,” Emily asked, emboldened by the amount of time they’d spent together over the past few days.

“I should hope you do, we are stuck with each other for the rest of the year,” Sue said, elbowing her gently.

“I know that,” Emily said, “of all the people I could have been roomed with, I’m glad it was you.”

“Me too.”

“And I don’t want to do anything that might ruin this but,” Emily paused, looking into Sue’s expectant brown eyes, “I think I have to do this,” and she leaned in to kiss her.

At first Sue didn’t move, she seemed almost frozen with Emily’s face stuck to hers, her eyebrows raised in surprise but then her lips moved and she started to kiss Emily back, “you’re much better at this than your brother,” she murmured. After she’d heard that, Emily didn’t want to stop. Those words were all the affirmation she needed and she pulled Sue in close who responded by grabbing her face with both hands before running them down her shoulders and to her waist.

Eventually - when the sun had disappeared completely behind the trees - they had to break apart and they just looked at each other with startled expressions until they started to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the last chapter for a while. I'm keen to explore what happens next for Sue and Emily at college but I want to make sure I've got the time to do it justice!


	5. I have never seen "volcanoes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their walk to the lake, Sue and Emily find themselves at an Earth Science lecture as they come to terms with what has happened earlier that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while! Sorry... I thought I might be done with this fic but then season 2 inspired me :)

Emily and Sue’s walk back from the lake was lazy; neither of them were in any hurry to shatter the contented haze that had settled over both of them and it wasn’t cold enough to warrant any hurrying. Their hands brushed against each other as their feet zig-zagged their way home: shyness and the presence of other students stopped them from grabbing hold but it was clear from the electricity that danced between them that this was the thing they were both desperate to do.

The sun had all but gone by the time they were back on campus and fully surrounded by buildings and the floodlit paths provided an aggressive contrast to the soft light of the lake. Their footsteps slowed to a virtual standstill as they came closer and closer to the centre of campus and their dorm room. Being alone at the lake was nothing short of incredible but now they were confronted with the return to college life and the possible shattering of the illusions cast by the lake and it was clear neither of them really knew what to do next. The glances and giggles they had shared on their journey back had also slowed as they both looked at the path ahead, biting their lips as they pondered their next move.

“There’s a lecture tonight,” Emily exhaled at the moment Sue had finally steeled herself to speak.

“What?” Sue frowned.

“On volcanoes,” Emily continued, “The Earth Sciences faculty have brought in a guest speaker. There was an email,” she finished weakly.

“But you’re an English major?” Sue asked, puzzled.

“I know. I don’t know how they got my details either. But it looked interesting. This guy has been to Vesuvius, Yellow Stone, all over. He’s done all these experiments.”

“Ok…” Sue said hesitantly.

“Do you wanna go?”

“I mean… are we allowed?”

“I don’t see why not,” Emily shrugged, “Come on! It’ll be fun!”

“Fine. You’ve convinced me.” Sue said reluctantly. She was less convinced she shared Emily’s idea of fun but it was that or be faced with exploring the realities of having made out with your college friend in the dorm room you were set to share for the rest of the year.

***

The lecture theatre had about fifteen people already seated as they tried to slip in unobtrusively. The noise of the door shutting behind them was enough to announce their arrival so fifteen heads turned sharply whose mouths then dropped open at the sight of the two freshmen girls. Sue hated herself for thinking it, but the stereotypes she had in her head about Earth Science majors were turning out to be absolutely accurate. Thankfully the students’ attention was diverted back towards the front of the room by a polite cough and a dimming of the lights as Sue and Emily hurriedly found seats at the back. With his tweed jacket and receding hairline, Professor Hitchcock was doing nothing to oppose Sue’s deep-rooted idea of what it a nerdy geologist must look like.

Sue had resigned herself to just dozing through the lecture and using the time in the warm - slightly stuffy - space to piece together what had just happened earlier that day but Professor Hitchcock, Sue was forced to admit to herself, was turning out to be possibly the most compelling person she’d seen in ages, apart from maybe Emily. He didn’t have a Power Point or any fancy demonstrations but he spoke with a quiet authority that burned with passion for his subject. He gave a brief overview of the points he intended to cover then rolled out a rather dusty overhead projector. From the moment he started speaking, Emily had leaned forwards and was gripping the back of the chair in front of her. Sue smiled at the way Emily’s face lit up at the prospect of all this new information and it didn’t take long for Sue to join her in leaning forward and gripping the chair next to hers. 

As the professor detailed his exploits and switched between images on the overhead projector and the students in the front row took frantic notes on chunky gaming laptops, Emily and Sue’s hands slid closer and closer together on the backs of the chairs. Sue kept glancing down at the ever decreasing gap that had settled on a mere half an inch. Her attention kept oscillating between the science of volcanology and that tiny gap as Emily’s seemed entirely transfixed by the volcanoes. Sue didn’t want to do anything to disrupt her but the temptation was becoming almost too much. Just then, Professor Hitchcock called on his research assistant to hook up an ancient looking laptop to play a video clip he’d taken on his most recent research trip. The clip started with Professor Hitchcock’s eyebrows peering into the lens as he adjusted the angle before he moved out of the frame to reveal the enormous crater of a volcano. Sparks and jets of heat shot out of the crater then there was a large crack, the footage went wonky and the screen went black. They both jumped and Emily closed the gap between them and clung onto Sue’s hand. Sue breathed out for what felt like the first time since the start of the lecture and gripped Emily’s hand tightly. Emily responded by pulling her hand closer in to herself and grazing her knuckles with the edge of her thumb as Sue relaxed into the contact.

After the video, the lecture drew to a closer disappointingly quickly and the lights came back on. Professor Hitchcock was immediately thronged by the over eager Earth Science nerds and their large laptops. “What do you think?” Sue leaned into Emily, “Do you want to join them?”

“No,” Emily replied, “I’d quite like to just stay here for a bit.” She drew Sue’s hand into her lap just held it there. “So what was your favourite part?” she said, turning excitedly back to Sue.

“Ok.”

Eventually they were forced to leave. They were too busy reliving their favourite moments of the lecture - their hands still clasped - to notice the curious glances of the students as they trudged past them. It was only when the janitor appeared and turned out the lights that they realised they really should be going. They shrugged on their jackets and headed up the steps towards the door.

“Hungry?” Sue asked as they emerged into the outside.

“Always,” Emily responded eagerly and she reached for Sue’s hand again. Sue gripped back but the flutterings of excitement she felt earlier were tinged with worry at who might be around to see them.

***

They were the only ones in the canteen and the serving staff seemed less than pleased to see them. They paid for their food - Emily insisted on paying for them both - and slid into a table in the corner. The pizza was luke-warm and chewy and the coffee was ludicrously strong from having been left to stew for hours but they didn’t care. Emily’s leg rested against Sue’s as they continued their dissection of the lecture. Their conversation was rapid and enthusiastic but they both managed to expertly steer around the subject that lingered in the air between them: what was going to happen next when they eventually had to go back to their room?

A mound of pizza crusts lay between them when the janitor - the same one as in the lecture theatre - started pointedly mopping the floor around them and flipped off all bar one of the light strips above them. They once again got the hint and pulled their coats back on. He grinned knowingly at them as they sheepishly made their exit.

“What now?” Emily said, at last voicing the question that had hovered between them for most of the day. The air was suddenly much cooler and she pulled her jacket around herself to keep out the worst of its bite.

“I don’t know,” Sue said truthfully, “Every where’s closed by now and it’s getting pretty cold.” She mirrored Emily and pulled her jacket tighter.

“So I guess we just… go home,” Emily said hesitantly.

Sue nodded and they made their way back across campus towards their dorm room. Encouraged by the anonymity that the dark provided, Sue linked her arm through Emily’s and pulled her in close, grateful for the warmth of being next to another human. Emily didn’t pull away but instead leaned into her at least until Sue lost her nerve and reclaimed her arm when they entered the brightly lit building.

The corridor was strewn with bottles and take-away cartons and the legs of most of their class as they shamelessly flouted the dorm regulations. Emily allowed Sue to lead the way and find a route through the obstacle course. As they approached their room, Emily felt her pulse quicken. This was a situation that no amount of poetry could have prepared her for and she just hoped Sue was more widely read.

Sue pushed the door open, noting to herself how undecorated it was compared to all the other doors. She wondered if that was something that was likely to change and allowed herself to briefly imagine her and Emily snuggled up crafting together but quickly dismissed it. She stepped inside the once familiar room with no idea of what to do now. She sat on the first thing she arrived at - her desk chair - and watched Emily follow her in and sit opposite her, on the edge of her bed.

“So…” Emily said.

“Volcanoes,” Sue finished.

“Yeah.”

“Inspired any poems?” Sue asked.

“Definitely,” Emily smiled, “ and now I think I have an idea of what a volcano must feel like,” her warm brown eyes met Sue’s.

“Oh really?” Sue replied, feeling emboldened by Emily’s gaze.

“Yeah… Even before the lecture. By the lake,” she tailed off but continued to look directly at Sue. Neither of them moved and the gap between them, adorned with the threadbare rug Sue had brought with her, seemed to get bigger and bigger. Sue felt that they could easily just leave things there: slip into pyjamas under their respective covers, turn out the light and leave the discussion for another day but wasn’t what they’d been headed towards. They couldn’t just leave things there.

Suddenly, Sue stood up, “Emily,” she smiled, “you have no idea about volcanoes.” She stepped towards Emily and only stopped when their knees met and she suddenly became conscious of how much she was towering over Emily’s seated figure.

“I don’t?” Emily breathed, looking up at Sue.

“You really don’t but I’m going to show you,” Sue whispered and bent down to kiss her. Emily stood up slightly to meet her and as their lips met, she fell back onto the bed, either out of surprise or as an invitation, and brought Sue with her.

The kiss they’d shared by the lake had been hesitant, almost polite but the electricity that had been building between them all day had suddenly found its outlet and there was no holding back now. Emily’s hands were everywhere, clumsy but unstoppable and Sue was more than ready to let them explore. She had abandoned her jacket when she stepped towards Emily and her shirt quickly joined it in being discarded on the floor.

Sue had fooled around in High School: alcohol induced fumbles in shadowy corners of parent-less parties but nothing like this and not just because her prior encounters had all been with guys. There had been nothing like the connection she was currently experiencing back then. Any fears of feeling self-conscious were gone completely as Emily unfastened her bra - fumbling slightly with the clasp- and she sighed deeply as their skin met and her hands headed towards the waistband of Emily’s pants. All the skirting around from before suddenly seemed foolish as they finally embraced the inevitable.


	6. Alone, I cannot be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sue's left to dwell on the shift in her relationship with Emily and a chance discovery nearly causes its undoing.

Sue moved through the business building in some kind of daze. That morning she’d awoken unclothed yet wrapped in Emily’s arms and that feeling seemed destined to forever be imprinted on her mind. It was the sun clawing its way through the gap in their curtains that woke her and reminded her unkindly of the class she really needed to attend. Emily barely stirred as she untangled herself, trying to manage the side of her brain that was adamant she should just skip class and stay with Emily forever. Emily awakening, clinging to her, telling her to stay would have been all it took for her to stay but it turned out she was a pretty heavy sleeper so here Sue was, stood outside the lecture hall on the second floor of the business building with its aggressively fluorescent lighting and back there somewhere was Emily, presumably still in bed. Prior to all of this, she’d never really allowed herself to entertain the possibility of ever being with a woman - a dead family is enough deviation from the expected for anyone - but now her thoughts were filled entirely with her eccentric room-mate: the way her dark hair cascaded away from a furrowed brow, the way her lips felt against hers and the touch of her hands, with their callouses from writing, as they explored her.

A playful but sharp elbow to the ribs brought her abruptly to her senses, “Is this the Dickinson effect then?” the voice - and elbow - seemed to come from nowhere.

“What?” Sue’s face flushed and her heart sunk; they knew. Somehow, word had got out and everybody knew. “Sorry?” she continued to blink in surprise looking up at her course-mate, recognising her but struggling to remember her name.

“The party?” the stranger prompted with a grin, “we all saw you and Austin.”

The relief Sue felt burnt with the shame at the delight she was experiencing in having not been caught, “Oh… erm…” she was stalling: say no and be faced with telling the truth (or fabricating another explanation) or just nod along and set in motion a lie that would inevitably come back to haunt her and really hurt Emily in the process.

“So Austin Dickinson?” another voice joined the fray, “A freshman and a post-grad. If the genders were reversed, you’d be the stuff of legend. As it happens, you’re just one in a long line that will no doubt continue way beyond our time.” The voice belonged to - and Sue hated herself for thinking it - someone who was never likely to get with anyone at a party, let alone a senior. It wasn’t so much her appearance, more her concise observation of the anti-feminist nature of the college dating pool that would probably render her undate-able in the eyes of the senior frat boys. She was the only one who Sue felt she had any chance of a meaningful friendship with.

The expectant silence was brought to an end, thankfully, by the doors of the lecture hall opening and the previous class flooding out. The three of them - it had taken three days of classes for them to become a ‘three’, whether they liked it or not - were swept into the hall with the rest of their class. That was college for you: you find your ‘best friends’ before you can even commit their names to memory. Their professor was keen - far too keen - and had already begun by the time they took their seats so any further interrogation was avoided despite the best efforts of girl number one who kept trying to whisper questions across girl number two which Sue resolutely ignored and stared at the professor. Unsurprisingly, Sue’s attention was transient at best as the teacher went through the fundamentals of using a spreadsheet. Every now and then, she’d surface from a daydream filled with well-crafted lines of poetry and expectant brown eyes to wonder just what it was her scholarship was paying for. Maybe Emily would let her tag along to her classes… if she ever got out of bed.

***

True to form, Emily was still in bed when Sue got back. She’d managed to circumvent the post-class trip to the canteen for brunch by mumbling something about calling her mom. The first lie of a fair number she thought to herself. The ‘friendship’ was far too new to explain the whole orphan situation. Despite being in bed, Emily was actually awake; she was sat up - clothed this time - surrounded by tiny scraps of paper. Her hair still bore the history of the previous night and she grinned happily when she saw Sue in the doorway. It was all Sue could do not to sweep the papers off the bed and immediately take their place. Instead, she put her bag down by her desk and sat on the edge of her mattress, smiling tentatively at the person who now consumed all of her thoughts. ”I can see you’ve had a busy morning,” she said eventually as Emily stayed silent: seemingly content to just stare happily.

“I suspect it’s been more productive than yours,” Emily replied.

“I don’t think that would be too difficult. I did completely zone out as my professor talked us through the most basic of Excel formulae.”

“Where did you go?” Emily asked, playfully biting her tongue in Sue’s direction.

“Huh?”

“When you zoned out, where did you go?” Emily prompted.

“Oh,” Sue said and, emboldened, stood up, “I’m sure you don’t really need to ask that.” She took a step forward, “but it’s somewhere I’d like to go back to.”

“Well then,” Emily said, uncharacteristically setting her writing aside, “I think you should travel there. Right now.”

Sue took one final step across the room and leaned forward to kiss Emily. As she moved, Emily caught her in her arms and pulled her on top of her. Even with the comforter between them, Sue could sense just how much Emily wanted her. Her hands went from her hair to her waist before resting tantalisingly on the small of her back.

“I was worried you wouldn’t want to do this again,” Emily breathed between kisses.

“What?” Sue said, pulling back in surprise, “why?”

“I don’t know… I guess I worried you were just being polite.”

“Emily. Polite is holding the door open for someone, telling them the cake they baked is delicious even thought it tastes like shit-”

“Remind me never to bake a cake for you,” Emily interjected.

“-this is not polite. This is what I want.”

“Good,” Emily grinned before reaching up to meet Sue’s lips.

“You’re a way better kisser than Austin,” Sue murmured.

“Oh, I know. And that’s not the only thing I’m better at,” and before Sue could respond, Emily had kicked the comforter away - and revealing that in getting dressed, all she’d done was pull an over-sized shirt on - and flipped Sue so she was now the one on her back and Emily was on top. Her legs straddled Sue, as she fumbled for her belt buckle.

***

It was the knock on the door that brought them to their senses. They were tangled together - much like they had been the last time - with the comforter on the floor and the warmth of each other’s bodies enough to stop them from reaching for it. They both tensed in each other’s arms at the sound. Neither of them breathed a word as they both hoped the intruder-to-be would get the hint and go.

“Emily? Sue?” the knock came again, “it’s Austin. I know you’re in here, Emily. You never go anywhere.”

“Did you lock the door when you came in?” Emily muttered.

Before Sue had a chance to remember, the door was opened and Austin stopped dead in its doorway at the sight of a naked Sue and Emily scrabbling for the comforter on the floor.

“Austin! Get out!” Emily yelled but Austin didn’t need to be told twice and the click of the lock announced his speedy departure.

“Shit,” Sue uttered as she scrambled for her clothes. It was a sock she found first and she pulled it on frenetically as if clothing herself would somehow erase what had just happened.

“Sue,” Emily said trying to lay a calming hand on her arm, “it’s ok. It’s only Austin. And he’s gone now, anyway.”

“It’s not ok,” Sue snapped, shaking off Emily’s touch as she pulled on her sweater not noticing, or caring, that it was inside out. “You know how popular he is, how many friends he has. By now half of campus must know.”

“They won’t, he won’t. He’s not like that. I’m his sister,” Emily hissed, “He’s my brother. He’s not going to spread stuff like that.”

“How would you know? It’s not like something like this has happened before,” she caught herself, “has it?”

“No,” Emily replied, “Of course not.”

“Ok.”

“Sue, my brother has never walked in on me naked in bed. With anyone. It’s not like there’s been anything for him to walk in on anyway. Until yesterday.”

“I mean, it’d be fine if you had. I’m a feminist and all that but it makes it so much better knowing it’s your first time too.”

“You were very good for a beginner. I mean…I wouldn’t have known unless…”

“Maybe you could say I was just waiting for the right person. And you were very good too,” she added.

Emily smiled before kissing her in response. Sue was almost prepared to climb back into bed and undo the frantic dressing of a minute earlier but Emily suddenly broke away and grabbed for a scrap of paper and her fail-safe stubby pencil.

“A poem? Now?” Sue asked, affronted.

“Sorry,” Emily muttered, not looking up from her frantic scribbling.

This interruption was enough for Sue’s thoughts to start to spiral and for the events of the previous day start to seem regrettable. The presence of Austin - frat-boy Austin whose tongue had been down her throat a few days before - in their dorm room was nothing short of horrifying. But he wouldn’t… would he? Emily’s his sister. Telling everyone about his sister would be a low blow… even for him. But the the value of the story… but his sister… and the girl he’d made a move on… That had to be too humiliating to share.

This wasn’t the first time Sue had found herself caught under the spell of a beautiful, enigmatic girl but it was the first time any crush had been knowingly reciprocated and acted upon and it suddenly terrified her. She was already the girl with the dead family and she was now the girl who’d got with a brother and his sister in the space of a week.

She sat limply on the edge of her bed and watched as Emily wrote. She’d been here before; staring infatuated yet broken at an oblivious girl. There’d been Lauren in middle school who she’d deliberately kept herself awake for so she could stare at her sleeping figure at sleepovers. Not forgetting Amber, the cheerleader who’d utterly transfixed her at Homecoming but to whom she’d never managed to utter a word. Is this what her life was going to be? Passionless encounters with cookie-cutter guys and living in a fantasy world she was too afraid to realise. Then Emily looked up and smiled and that was all it took for Sue to become determined to find a way to make it work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your encouraging comments! I really thought I'd written all that I could with this but now I've got loads of ideas and I'm excited to write them and share them!!


	7. We lose - because we win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sue is still reeling from Austin's interruption so when he proposes a solution to her worries, she feels that she has no choice but to agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the encouragement! I will do my best to keep the updates coming :)

Sue had fallen into an easy routine of splitting her time between classes and time with Emily in their dorm room. Emily was yet to go to any of her classes which meant that she was always available for some post-class distraction. More often than not, this distraction involved Sue reading Emily’s poetry, telling her intensely how wonderful it was followed by the two of them making out. Their clothes stayed on for the most part; the shock of having been caught had dampened their enthusiasm somewhat. They both knew Austin was unlikely to make the same mistake twice but there was an unspoken, but frustrating, agreement that they weren’t going to risk it. Sue was desperate for Emily to reach out to him and guarantee his silence but Emily insisted that that was unnecessary and, besides, she was never in any hurry to have any contact with him anyway.

The need for a specific text book had interrupted her route back to her dorm room after a day of classes and she made her way with some reluctance to the library. Finals week was far away enough for it to be virtually deserted, no floor more so than the business section. The book wasn’t hard to locate but as she stood at the check-out machine, a shadow appeared across the screen.

“Sue, hi,” an oddly familiar voice spoke softly over her shoulder.

Turning to establish the identity of the voice, Sue promptly dropped the book in alarm when she saw who it was.

“Here, let me,” Austin bent to retrieve the book and handed it carefully back to her, holding on to it for longer than was necessary to ensure she had a firm grip of it this time. His eyes were so like the ones she’d spent hours staring into but the face around it was familiar for all the wrong reasons. He was still smiling, friendly, unthreatening but she was finding it incredibly hard to not just run all the way back to her dorm room and never come out. “I’m glad I ran into you, I was hoping to talk to you,” he continued.

“There’s really no need,” Sue blustered quickly, staring at his feet.

“Oh, I think it would be good for us to… catch up,” he was still smiling disarmingly, “Emily never answers her texts and I think it would be good for us to, well, clear the air.”

“Well… Erm…” Sue felt herself flush red.

“I promise I don’t want to cause any trouble,” he smiled, “I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

“Ok…” She said hesitantly.

“Come on, I know this really great coffee place and it’s super quiet so we’ll be able to talk,” he caught her arm as if he meant to lead her all the way there.

Feeling as if she’d lost her chance to have a say in all of this, she blindly followed Austin out of the library, clasping the text book protectively to her chest. It was that or be frogmarched there anyway.

Austin was right: the cafe was quiet. There was no one there apart from the barista which left Sue feeling far more exposed than if the place was rammed with people. He led her to a table in the corner before ordering for both of them at the counter. The barista would bring them over he explained as he settled himself into the chair next to her.

“So,” Sue said, “What is it you want to talk about?” she hoped her faux naivety would lead to him making benign remarks about the weather or imminent assignments or anything but the inevitable.

“I think you know what,” he said, “the other day… You know… you and my sister… and me just barging in.”

Sue felt herself flush red again and accepted the coffee gratefully from the barista. She couldn’t deny that clearing the air with Austin was something she’d wanted but she hadn’t expected to be so directly involved with it all. Screw Emily and her radio silence.

“I’m sorry about that,” he continued. “If I’d have known, there’s no way I’d have just opened the door and just come right in. It’s just Emily-”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Sue blurted suddenly.

Austin looked offended, “Why would I do that?”

Sue was thrown, “I don’t know… It’d be quite a story for you and your frat-boy friends.”

“Seriously? My sister and the girl I hooked up with at a party?” he scoffed, “That’s the kind of thing I want to keep to myself.”

“Ok…” Sue took a long sip of her coffee, wincing at the heat and the bitter taste.

“Do you want creamer? Sugar?” Austin asked, noting her pained expression.

“I’m good… it’s ok. So,” she swallowed, “nobody knows?”

“Nobody. Well aside from the two of you and me, of course.”

“Ok,” Sue nodded, blinking rapidly and feeling her heart pound in her throat.

“So what was it? A one time thing or are you two…? Wait,” he stopped himself, “I don’t need to know.”

“Austin,” Sue found herself reaching for his hand, “Please. Nobody can know.”

“Of course! You have my word but,” he sipped his coffee, “let me ask you this? Would it really be that bad if people knew?”

“Yes,” Sue said simply.

“Really?” Austin raised an eyebrow, “it’s the twenty-first century. Nobody cares,” he laughed, “Is it Emily? Are you embarrassed of her ‘cos I kind of get it…”

“God, no!” Sue exclaimed, “Emily’s amazing, incredible…”

“Are we talking about the same Emily?” he said, leaning back in his chair.

“I really like her, Austin.”

“I’m glad,” he said, raising an eyebrow, “So why can’t you just tell people?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Tell me,” he said assertively.

“My parents are dead,” she shrugged; she’d never found the best way to deliver this particular piece of information.

“Wow,” he said, obviously shocked, “Ok. I’m so sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. I mean. It’s just something that happened and… well, anyway… I’m already the girl with the dead parents. I don’t know if I’m ready to be the lesbian with dead parents.”

“Is that what you … Is that how you identify?” he paled as he asked as if worried that he had been the one to turn her.

“No… Well… I don’t know,” she said weakly and the colour rushed back to his cheeks.

“Sue. I don’t know how to tell you this but it’s really not that big of a deal. This is college. Everyone gets with everyone. I mean, look at us. And no gives a shit. Sue, seriously!”

“You know, my friends think it’s you,” she said matter of factly.

“What?” he frowned over the rim of his cup.

“They know that there’s something going on and they think you’re my big secret. Because of the party. Everybody saw us.”

“That figures,” he said arrogantly.

“Yeah… And I kind of let them think that. Well. I didn’t tell them they were wrong and then class started so I’m guessing that’s what they still think.”

“Huh,” Austin nodded, “No-one’s said anything to me about that.”

“What, because it happens all the time? You and freshmen girls?”

“Possibly,” he said nonchalantly. He paused as if to allow Sue to process this information, and her implied insignificance. “Look. I’m not going to say anything about you and Emily but if people ask, you’re going to need a decoy?”

“What do you mean?” Sue asked quietly.

“I mean, if people already think we’re dating,” he shrugged, “why not steer into the skid?”

“You mean…”

“I’ll be your beard. Exactly!” Austin looked triumphant.

“And what would that entail?”

“Nothing too intimate,” he grinned, “if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Ok…” she said hesitantly.

“Maybe the occasional hug or hand hold. But mostly just talking the talk.”

“Right…”

“Come on! It’s perfect. No one will think you’re screwing my sister and I won’t be the guy who turned you into a dyke,” he was completely oblivious to Sue’s winces as he spoke.

“Uh…”

“So it’s settled then!” he said standing up, “Are you done?”

Sue nodded and got to her feet. Austin insisted on helping her into her jacket ‘to get into character’ and even hugged her goodbye. His chest was hard and unfamiliar against her face and was accompanied by a twinge of guilt as she began to ponder exactly what it was she had started.

The air was cold as she walked home; winter already starting to make itself known and for the first time since starting college, she was in no hurry to get back to her dorm room.

***

Emily Dickinson couldn’t quite believe her luck. Emily Dickinson - who’d spent her life being home-educated and staying firmly under her parents’ wing, who thought that drooling over the Pitch Perfect trilogy was the closest she’d ever get to a relationship - now had a girlfriend. Well, they were yet to have that conversation but she didn’t know how else they’d describe it. Sue slept in her bed; they spent hours in each other’s arms, just talking. Sue read all of her poetry. As far as Emily was concerned, they were as good as married. She’d realised that telling Sue that might not be the best move at the moment though. Thanks to her brother.

Sue had been at classes all day and Emily missed her. A lot. Some would think pining for someone who’d been gone a matter of hours was pathetic but Emily had decided there was something noble in the way that she’d handled it all. She had managed to make her way from the bed to the desk and had begun considering actually attending classes: her class schedule was even pinned above her desk, a mirror image of Sue’s. She was still sat there when Sue returned. A warm shiver ran down her spine as Sue gripped her shoulders and planted a kiss on the top of her head. This was new: a gesture weighted with familiarity and a quiet intimacy.

“Ok. Don’t be mad,” Sue said as soon as she sat down.

“What? Why would I be mad?” Emily asked, panic immediately rising in her chest.

Sue exhaled loudly through her nose, refusing to meet Emily’s eye, “I bumped into Austin at the library.” Emily didn’t say anything .“Don’t be mad,” she said again.

“Why would I be mad? What happened?” Panic crept from Emily’s chest into her voice.

“Nothing… We just went for coffee. And talked,” Sue found herself stumbling over her words and she stared at Emily’s newly affixed class schedule, “He’s not going to tell anyone.”

“I told you that!”

“And… and. Oh god,” Sue swallowed, “he had an idea.”

"Are you sure it was Austin you bumped into? He’s not known for his ideas.”

“Emily…” Sue frowned.

“So what was this idea?”

“He said… he said… and this is only because I’m… I’m not ready for anyone to know…”

“What?” Emily said as images of her and Sue walking through campus shattered in her mind.

“He suggested that he and I should…,” Sue’s voice had been reduced to nothing more than a whisper, “he and I should act like we’re dating.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Emily said weakly.

“I just. You and I, it’s what I want, I promise but I’m not ready for the world to know,” Sue said slowly.

“So you’re just going to date my brother instead,” Emily’s voice was raised, threatening a shriek.

“Emily… Emily… it’s like this… I just-” and with that, Sue ran out of words.


	8. I'm nobody! Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still reeling from Sue's revelation, Emily finally throws herself into college life and starts making her own roots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was an interesting choice for Sue in the previous chapter! I will endeavour to make sense of all of this over the next few chapters and resolve it nicely :) 
> 
> Thanks again for encouragement in your comments though! It really means a lot :)

And just like that, Emily’s world imploded. She should have known whatever it was they had between them wasn’t to last but she didn’t think think it would be like this or with him. There was a part of her that wasn’t completely without empathy and the tiniest sliver of her could understand Sue’s fear but the rest of her was completely devastated. And besides, there must be better ways to manage that kind of panic without jumping back into bed with the last guy who looked twice at her. Sue didn’t say anything and just stared with obvious desperation at Emily clearly hoping she’d just say she understood and that they could move on. But as far as Emily could see, that was never going to happen.

Emily wanted to flop dramatically back on to her bed - her usual response to any form of adversity - but then she remembered she was on a chair; she was imprisoned by its wooden frame, her legs pinioned under the shelf of her desk. The walls were starting to feel like they were closing in on her and Sue continued to stare pleadingly. It was too much. She clambered inelegantly out from under the table and finally made it to her bed. The poems scrunched underneath her but she ignored them, her face buried into her pillow, anxious to push the world away.

“Emily?” she heard Sue stand up and move towards her. She rolled over and pressed her face and body into the wall.

“Go away, Sue,” she spoke into the wall and she heard her move away as she obeyed her request. She didn’t know what she wanted when she said that but when she heard the creak of Sue’s bedsprings, she realised she wanted Sue to fight back, clamber into bed with her, hold her tight not to give up. The tears came fast and her stomach muscles ached with the effort of holding in a sob and it wasn’t long before they gave out.

***

Sue didn’t go to class the following morning. Her alarm went and she just shut it off and curled back into the wall, Emily style but spending the day cooped up with the person who’d ruined her life was the last thing Emily wanted. Motivation is a funny thing but that was the first morning she was dressed before noon. She pulled on jeans and a shirt and stepped into her shoes, with no idea what to expect from a college class or even what she was meant to bring. That summer her mom had taken her shopping and insisted on buying her a mountain of hardback notebooks with high quality pages in the hope of deflecting Emily away from her preoccupation with paper scraps. They had been stacked on her desk gathering dust since the start of the semester but now she grabbed the first of the pile and dropped it into her bag with a couple of her stubby pencils. She unstuck her schedule from the wall and crumpled it into her pocket. As an afterthought, she grabbed the map her father had found for her on her first day and slipped it up her sleeve.

Her walk across campus felt oddly hopeful; it was the first time since arriving at the place that she felt that she was actually doing _something_. Well, something other other than pining and scribbling and then doing some more pining. The English faculty was opposite the library and hosted a whole labyrinth of confusion as Emily tried to find the correct room. She made it eventually, after a number of false turns and was grateful for the map up her sleeve.

The professor was evidently very surprised to see her even when she explained who she was. She did fall slightly short of a reason for her prolonged absence but he didn’t seem that bothered and had evidently thought she’d just never registered as it had been so long since classes started. He was surprisingly accommodating though and gave her a stack of reading material and a hand-out to explain how the classes were assessed. She still had a week until the first deadline, if she wanted to catch-up, he explained.

The class was interesting and Emily was intelligent enough to make sense of it despite having missed so much of it. The work of Robert Browning was new but exciting to Emily - creating a character that reveals a truth that only an outsider could see best heard in _Soliloquy of a Spanish Cloister -_ the monk who claimed to be angry with Brother Lawrence but in venting his frustrations, revealed that he was most likely just in love with him. Sue. Sue was someone who spoke and revealed so much more than she knew. Trying to hide her true self just to avoid notoriety but in reality just burying a whole monster truck of shame and opening up a whole other can of worms.

She’d never turned her hand to a dramatic monologue but the events of the previous night had given her a whole wealth of material. As the class progressed, she wrote fervently in her brand new notebook and her classmates looked on in awe at her determination. Little did they know that she’d stopped listening long ago.

When the class ended, she took her time gathering her possessions as the rest of the class swarmed out around her. She’d half hoped that the professor would check-in and ask her how she found the class. She wouldn’t have minded showing him the draft of her poem but he couldn’t be seen for dust. Someone did wait for her though. A gawky figure who hadn’t yet adjusted to the late growth spurt he’d had over the summer hovered near her, awkwardly waiting for Emily to notice him. Emily just glared, unspeaking, when she eventually clocked his presence.

“Hi, sorry,” he stammered, flushing under the heat of her gaze.

“Can I help you?” Emily asked, still not breaking his gaze.

“Uh… it’s just that I saw you writing.”

“We were in class,” she said defensively, “we were meant to be writing.”

“You weren’t taking notes. I’m sorry… I saw your poem. It was really impressive,” he said, stepping towards her, “Did you have the idea in class or is it something that’s been brewing for a while?”

“Uh… just today…” Emily said, unsure exactly how to manage this attention.

“Well you’re quite the writer,” he said excitedly, “that character you created. Such a bitch.”

Emily smiled weakly.

“Sorry… I should explain. I’m George,” he held out a sweaty hand, “I help run the literary journal and we’re always looking for new contributions. What do you think?”

Emily reflexively clasped her bag with her writing to her chest, suddenly fearful that someone would pry it off her.

Noticing her panic, he adapted a reassuring tone, “Not many people read it, if that’s what you’re worried about. Which would be a shame because, you know, you’re writing’s really good but-”

“I’ll think about it,” Emily said abruptly, cutting him off.

“Ok. Cool,” he smiled, unphased, “Let me know. There’s a meeting this evening, in the café in the library, if you wanted to drop by.”

Emily nodded, tight lipped and brushed past him on the way out the door. She didn’t know what to do now. She had ninety minutes until her next class; more than enough time to head back to the dorm room but that was where Sue was and where Sue was was not somewhere Emily wanted to be. That was how - for the first time in her life - Emily found herself an hour and twenty-eight minutes early for something. The classroom was empty, the tables arranged in a horse-shoe around a whiteboard. She found herself a seat in the far corner of the room and found her notebook, and a granola bar. It was a strange feeling to be writing on a clear open page but there was something satisfying in watching her ideas grow, knowing that they were all bound together in one place. She added verses to the monologue, carefully editing key details to make it more anonymous but not enough for the reality to be diluted. When she finished, she went back and refined it until it was something she was really pleased with.

The rest of the class came in in clumps of pre-made friendships, she realised that - by hiding in her room for so long - there was so much she’d missed out on. Many of them were the same as those from the Browning class but they didn’t look twice at her. George was back however and he grinned happily and made immediately for the seat next to her. His progress was not dignified as he squeezed between classmates and clambered over chairs, “Fancy seeing you here!” he said as he landed heavily in his chair. Emily was not prepared for anything to stop her frantic scribbling as she outlined another idea so when she ignored him, he just fished out his own notebook and wrote the date pain-stakingly slowly at the the top of the page.

This class was significantly less enlightening than the previous as they delved head first into stream of consciousness writing and the class all opened up their own copies of _Ulysses_. Emily simply noped out of the whole thing: the professor hadn’ t even noticed his latest addition to his class and she had no intention of making him aware. Besides, George seemed eager enough to share his notes with her should she decide to attempt any of the assignments. The professor spoke for a solid two hours and all but one of the class listened and absorbed but Emily was lost in her own world of retribution through words.

She would go to the literary journal. She would meet more people, make more friends and show the world - or the three people that read it - her poetry and find out what it was to be seen. There was so much more to college than Sue especially as Sue had proven that there was so much more to her college experience than her. If Sue wanted her to get out more, that was exactly what she would do. Maybe even she would find herself a fake boyfriend too and, as if on cue, the class came to an end and George offered a stammered invitation to get coffee.

***

George took her to a popular campus coffee stop and provided an awkward inarticulate monologue of his thoughts on James Joyce throughout the entire length of the line. The collected their coffees from the barista and wandered back to the library and George’s speech did not stop. As predicted, George offered all of his notes from the classes she’d missed and even suggested eagerly that she transfer some of her classes so they had the same schedule. This seemed a lot. She’d been to two classes and it was already beginning to feel like college was going to be more effort than it was worth. But at least there was someone else who liked her poems.

“So do you think you’ll come tonight?” he asked when they’d found a quiet corner in the library.

“I think so,” she mused, “It’s about time I actually did some of this college stuff. And give my poems an audience.”

“Trust me. It’s going to make such a big change from all the angsty short stories and fan fiction that’s trying not quite hard enough to not be fan fiction,” he enthused, “Sam is going to be so excited.”

“Who’s Sam?”

“He’s our editor,” George explained.

Emily frowned, “Isn’t that you?”

George scoffed, “I wish. I sometimes get to choose the type face for the contents page but that’s about it,” he said despondently

“Oh…” Emily was disappointed: she’d really thought she’d been spotted by the guy on top. The impact seemed slightly less now that her poem had been described as someone whose only job was to choose typeface. Sometimes. Still. It was a start.

***

There were a few poems in her notebook but most were only partially formed. The bulk of her collection - especially the ones that were completed - were scattered about her dorm room. She was going to have to brave going back there and, judging by the way she’d left things that morning. Sue was most likely still there. But there was a part of her that was excited to rub this whole new potential life in the face of someone who’d been prepared to drop her at the first opportunity.


End file.
